O.k. to understand the emotional mess I am in you have to go to my playlist and listen to the song by Brad Paisley called Find Yourself. That song rings too close to heart so many times in my life. I go through this every time we move. I remember going through this when we left Ogden to move to Cedar, Cedar City to Move to Shelley, Moving from Shelley to Arizona, and now Arizona to Green Bay. The first couple weeks I'm usually so busy unpacking, putting a new house together and all the work in finding new schools, wards etc... Then after about 5 weeks I start realizing that I'm not going back to where we left, I no longer have friends, I'm totally homesick for family and I'm back to square one. It is so hard. I wonder why life has taken so many turns for Wes and I, and I also wonder when it will all stop and I'll actually have a place to call home for more than a year and a half. Then, I think about the friends we have made in the many places that we have lived and it's been worth it. We are so lucky to have so many dear Friends. I just hope that I'll be O.k. in Green Bay, and we'll find what we were sent here to do so we can come back west, come back closer to home.
P.S. There cutting down the corn fields - I love the corn fields, we are surrounded by them, and it is so beautiful, and now they are disappearing. I don't mean to be so dreary, but it's raining, I have a cold, I have no one to complain to, Taylor has the flu, and there cutting down my corn fields...the one thing about this place that I love!!!!
P.S.S. I don't want you all to write back and say I make friends so easy...I have all the friends and family I need, I just need to win the lottery so that I can make a compound and have everyone I love footsteps from my door...plus I could wear my robe and rollers all the time, and save a lot of money not buying clothes. Plus you would all understand why are trees grow so fast, becuase my boys don't like to come inside to use the bathroom. The boys got off the school bus a few days ago and went straight to the tree, they are only footsteps from the house, but no - they use a tree. I think it's a Davis thing....were all girls on the Rathje side.
P.S.S.S. I must thank my sweet husband for taking all the kids to school this morning so that I could sit here and cry and not have to explain to them why Mommy's sad, and then watch them start crying and then also make Wes go through the agony of trying to figure out what's wrong with me....I can just cry, get it over with, and be smiling again before everyone walks through the door. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this!
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5 comments:
OH Rathje...let it all out girl! So happy to find your blog. I will be here frequently. I think you are lucky to live in such a beautiful place. I've been there twice in the last 2 years and I loved it. Next time I'm there, I'm stopping by for sure!
Hey girl, hang in there! We all need to let the flood gates open at times. I sure think about you a lot and what a wonderful strong person you are. I really admire you and hope the very best for you. I miss and love you! Let me know if you need anything or if you want to talk.
PS. The peeing thing is definately a Davis thing, Tuck goes to the back door just to pee off the porch.
Seek to Feel the Lord's Love
"The Savior's invitation is clear and direct, and importantly for us, it is constant: 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden. . . . Take my yoke upon you, . . . for . . . my burden is light' (Matthew 11:28-30). This is the Lord's promise to me and to you.
"My prayer for each of us is that we will remember when the Lord has spoken His peace to us and has encircled us in the arms of His love. And just as important, will you, if you haven't felt that love for a while, seek to see it and feel it as you go about the ordinary tasks of your life. As you do this, over the days and months and years of your life, the memories of those interactions with the Lord will become sweet gifts to open a second time--or many times--to bolster you when life is difficult.
" 'Peace I give unto you,' the Lord promises, 'not as the world giveth, give I unto you' (John 14:27). Peace. Strength. It is what we long for and what is possible. We only need to turn toward His reaching arms."
Now I know that may be a little much...but come on girl...put on your big girl panties and head out to find some sort of adventure!! Take dinner tonight to some one in your ward just because, grab your camera and go take some pictures of the places around you and post them so we can see where ya live!!! Blog!! Keep blogging...it's great way to get out those emotions and you'll get unbeleiveable support and love. We are each in our own way still "finding ourselves" with different struggles, just at different places in the world and you are not alone!! We need to talk, rant and rave, and even cry!! And too know we will always have someone to listen and love us not matter our mood, situation, or circunstances!! (I hope I don't sound too harsh...I love ya!!)
:) Love you!
kim, kim, kim...i need your phone number. email me.
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