The story of my life with my son Tate goes something like this....
Mom: You have to do some chores before you can play
Child: Can sharpening pencils be my chore?
Mom: Nice try, but sharpening pencils is not a chore. Go clean the bathroom.
Child: I'm not cleaning the toilet, people poop in there.
Mom: Really, who do you think should clean it.
Mom: It's time for Dinner
Child: I had 4 Ding Dongs, I'm not hungry
Mom: You ate 4 Ding Dongs?
Child: The white stuff is healthy.
Mom: Go take a bath.
Child: I don't want to.
Mom: Your stinky and sweaty go get in the tub.
Child: I'll just wipe my sweat on my sheets.
Anyone interested in a visit?
Mom: Wash your hands before you eat.
Child: Surprisingly washes his hands.
Child: Opens the drawer, sees that there are not any clean towels, comes behind me and wipes his hands on my pants, and walks away.
Scene 5 (Payback time)
Child: 5:45 am child is spanking mom on the bum thinking he is so funny.
Mom: Trying to pretend to still be asleep
Child: You got some junk in the trunk, giggles, and continues to spank, although this time to a little rhythm of some sort.
Mom: Decides it's payback time and let's one rip - (I normally do not admit these things, but it was so funny, right on his hand)
Child: Jumps back, can not believe what really happened, and left the room shaking his head in disbelief.
Mom: Seriously laughs out loud for 10 minutes, almost crying, it was soooo funny.
Child: Leaves mom alone for another 20 minutes.
Mom: Smiles & still continues to laugh every time I start thinking about it.
Picking up the kids from school.
Mom: Hi guys, how was school?
Tye: Fine, what's for Dinner.
Tate: I had to flip my card today. (It's what happens when your disrespectful, or bad at school, you go off the green card to yellow...then possible red)
Mom: Why did you have to flip your card?
Tate: I told my class how you farted on my hand and I couldn't stop making farting sounds.
Mom: Hung my head, totally humiliated, but still can not stop laughing....
Such are the stories of my life......Can't wait for Teacher Parent Conference next week!!!