Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Story of my life...

The story of my life with my son Tate goes something like this....

Scene 1:

Mom: You have to do some chores before you can play

Child: Can sharpening pencils be my chore?

Mom: Nice try, but sharpening pencils is not a chore. Go clean the bathroom.

Child: I'm not cleaning the toilet, people poop in there.

Mom: Really, who do you think should clean it.

Child: Tye

Scene 2

Mom: It's time for Dinner

Child: I had 4 Ding Dongs, I'm not hungry

Mom: You ate 4 Ding Dongs?

Child: The white stuff is healthy.

Scene 3

Mom: Go take a bath.

Child: I don't want to.

Mom: Your stinky and sweaty go get in the tub.

Child: I'll just wipe my sweat on my sheets.

Anyone interested in a visit?

Scene 4

Mom: Wash your hands before you eat.

Child: Surprisingly washes his hands.

Child: Opens the drawer, sees that there are not any clean towels, comes behind me and wipes his hands on my pants, and walks away.

Mom: Speechless....

Scene 5 (Payback time)

Child: 5:45 am child is spanking mom on the bum thinking he is so funny.

Mom: Trying to pretend to still be asleep

Child: You got some junk in the trunk, giggles, and continues to spank, although this time to a little rhythm of some sort.

Mom: Decides it's payback time and let's one rip - (I normally do not admit these things, but it was so funny, right on his hand)

Child: Jumps back, can not believe what really happened, and left the room shaking his head in disbelief.

Mom: Seriously laughs out loud for 10 minutes, almost crying, it was soooo funny.

Child: Leaves mom alone for another 20 minutes.

Mom: Smiles & still continues to laugh every time I start thinking about it.

Scene 6

Picking up the kids from school.

Mom: Hi guys, how was school?

Tye: Fine, what's for Dinner.

Tate: I had to flip my card today. (It's what happens when your disrespectful, or bad at school, you go off the green card to yellow...then possible red)

Mom: Why did you have to flip your card?

Tate: I told my class how you farted on my hand and I couldn't stop making farting sounds.

Mom: Hung my head, totally humiliated, but still can not stop laughing....

Such are the stories of my life......Can't wait for Teacher Parent Conference next week!!!

9 comments:

Karry said...

That’s hilarious. It reminds me of the time all three of your kids were in my bed and I grabbed my whoopee cushion. I sat on it and they all looked at me – speechless, with big eyes and open mouths. Taylor said “Whoa Karry.” Tate said “That’s disgusting.” Tye just looked at me and shock his head. Why is it cool when boys fart but not girls? I can totally see Tate acting it out for his class. Too funny.

Kris said...

Thanks for the laugh! It's funny how moms always seem to get the last laugh. My oldest does weight training at night and he was 15 minutes late coming out. Of course I had no phone to call him so he was warned that next time I have to wait I come in with my mismatched pj's, furry slippers, and no bra on to get him. Yea, he hasn't been late since!

Connie and Joe said...

I just got done laughing at Karry's blog and then go to yours and start laughing again!! It must run in the family as you two are the funniest. Thanks for a light moment.

Tanner and Chelsey said...

Thank you so much for the good laugh, I needed it....I hope you are all doing good. Whats the latest on Tye's leg?

MyrLynn said...

I can't believe how you can remember every detail. Once again thanks for the laugh. I have definelty learned that when I need a laugh I just check your blog! And thanks for the offer on the secret trip to Hawaii! LOL

MyrLynn said...

I can't believe how you can remember every detail. Once again thanks for the laugh. I have definelty learned that when I need a laugh I just check your blog! And thanks for the offer on the secret trip to Hawaii! LOL

Cecily R said...

This was the best post I've read in a LONG time. Holy crud, Kim! I think I'm in love with Tate. Can I have him for one of my girls? He would get along PERFECTLY in our house. :)

Mrs. Olsen said...

Kim. I love you. THANK YOU for posting this. Looks like your payback got paid back.

Next time you help in the classroom eat a bean burrito so you can show of for show and tell. Nothing impresses school kids like farting.

The Lowe Fam said...

Kim, I just found your blog from awhile ago and was getting caught up on your family. You all are so amazing. You have such a beautiful family. And I can't stop laughing at the fart story. I love that you are brave enough to post it. You just made my day! Hope you're doing well! Deb